Racism - "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities" Merriam Webster, "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities " dictionary.com

Would these "traits and capacities" include things like dancing or speech.

Do the things you say affect other people, even if they do not immediately react, yes. So perhaps a comment made months ago is "over and done" but the intention and the resulting hurt are still there.

There is no difference between the racist that uses the "n" word and the racist that stereotypes people based on their race. There is no difference between a black or white racist. And both types do exist.

People make racist comments in front of others all the time, almost without even knowing they have made them. No one can change, no one can self-reflect unless someone tells them that they are wrong.

There are so many different kinds of racism...think about what you say when you say it, you may be offending someone because of your ignorance and ignorance is no excuse.

Excuses are for people who know they are wrong and want to continue to be wrong. Those are the kind of people NO ONE needs in their life.

* You can not hold an entire race responsible for one persons actions.

* You can not expect change without showing people the error in their ways.

* You can not deny who you are, you can only make yourself better.

Admit your faults and change. Admit your strengths and fly free.

So it’s been what feels like a century since the last time I’ve seen some of my friends and as some of you know that is because I signed my life away to MPS where I have been working full time for free since January. The gig is up on June 14th but before then I’ll be turning 23 and graduating all on the same day! So send me some love around May 18th because even though I will have plenty to celebrate I have to be up at 6am the next day to teach. Lame! I am super ridiculous broke so if anyone or anyone’s friends and family want to send me money, clothes, booze or food feel free.
Other than that I have finally moved into the apartment on MLK and Center st. with my roommate Berto. The crib is off the chain, the back deck is gonna be crackin this summer so don’t get it twisted! Berto has a big screen and an x-box so Halo 3 is my new favorite game, also this summer, I’ll be whoopin 10 year olds all day!
Recently I’ve been having an issue with what seems to be diabetic episodes. General incapacitation cured with food is the most pleasant way to describe what has been a painful past few months. Especially now that I’m looking into the problem since my doctor has me testing my blood sugar three times a day for a few weeks to make sure it’s a blood sugar issue and not, possibly, seizures or thyroid problems. Yikes!
As usual doing a terrible job of finding Mr.Right, although unless he was a high schooler (bad idea!) or someone at my house (kinda bad idea too, I don’t get out much anymore) there’s very few chances. While I’m being forward if anyone knows a prototype of Mr.Right I’m open to suggestions but please choose wisely.

So I worked thursday, friday, a double on saturday and sunday (sunday I only made $30 wtf?)

I did the majority of my x-mas shopping sunday during my break and I still haven't wrapped anything.

Today I come in for my shift wearing adorable santa troll earrings. I'm in the damn spirit people and nothing can stop me.

So when my dick head general manager says, "You can't wear those, their dangling"
"That's dumb"
"You have an employee handbook, that's the rules"
"Well the rules are dumb"
"You know what Arielle? Go home."
"For real? Ok!"

Now in addition to letting me have some vacation time today he wrote me up and put me on a super scary, double secret "90 day probation" because "we don't want to employ you if you're going to have such an attitude and can't conform to CPK standards."

He doesn't know it yet but what I got him for christmas is my middle finger and a double ended black dildo that I already needed to slap the shit out of the bitch at david's bridal.

Currently I'm doing the christmas stuff I didn't have time to do because I had to work. I hope you all have a great holiday! Mine is finally starting to shape up :)

It was a.m.
as I sloshed through slush
looking around to the sound
of snow crushed under my feet.
But it was the other sound
I heard that eventually
begged me to cease
and pick up audio bytes.

It was faint
and indistinct but I think
it was a sound I'd asked myself
a million times if anyone had
ever overheard
peep out of my mouth.

It was sad
walking up to my door
ignoring the sound
that begged the same way.
Wanting so badly to be
heard and appeased.

I disappoint the one person
I truly strive for myself.
because I should have been
a Solacer for
as many times as I'd
wished for one

So two weeks ago my roommate and I go shopping, we stop at a pizza place for food and end up picking up applications. We get both our first and second interview that same day and they say they'll call us later. She lost her job recently and I'm still at potterybarn so when I got called but she didn't I was both surprised and felt kinda bad. Well first off she hasn't really been talking to me so I don't feel bad anymore but secondly I've been trying to fit this job in with Potterybarn and going to school full time. Thus begins my story...
I started training at said pizza place and it involves an orientation, five classes on the menu and other restaraunt stuff and five shadow shifts (follow someone and see how it's done) then after your "final exam" you get what they call a "Go for it" day. This is when you take your own tables.
Problem #1: when shadowing and "go for it" day you have to use your trainers card to get into the computer. this means tonight I spent most of my time trying to find my trainer and then trying to get everything done in a timely manner.
Problem #2: Despite the fact that I have 5 years of serving experience and some of my trainers have had as little as two monthes, if you're training they think you're stupid. Tonight I got fucked over by expo twice...once on a table that had already said to me that they were unhappy and disappointed. So when their food came up and I grabbed it and the expo wench pulls it out of my hand even though she put my ticket on there I was livid...then she makes me take my pizza to someone else section and says mine will be up in a minute....SURE!
Problem #3: I asked them at the beginning of my shift if I could just take my final and not shadow someone because today was my 6th double in ten days. The answer was no, so after the drama I am near tears and my trainer says "just go home," so I clock out and don't turn around when I hear someone call my name.

I sat around waiting for half an hour for the first two interviews, I wasted 45 minutes for my third interview...I got over it. I've spent every night studying for my menu tests...and I got over it. I missed classes because they needed us to get through the training...I got over it. I requested off at PB to do stuff for CPK(aforementioned pizza place)...I got over it. I'm exhausted and hungry and I came there with skills and I'll leave with skills and I know I can be an amazing server, but when I get dicked around repeatedly by a company I cannot just brush it off.


And on another note...I still can't find anyone willing to care about me romantically.

My roommate just called me two of the things I find most hurtful because I'm not nice enough to our neighbor. I think he's nice but he creeps me out, and it's because he's older and has a crush on me and I'm just not interested.

I just don't see why that makes me a BITCH.

Or what that has to do with me being a WHORE.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
I have a hard time looking into peoples eyes normally, idk it just feels weird to stare

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry?
a week or so ago...its personal

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call?
depends, am i gonna die or no?


4. You are at the doctor's office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
id be terrified, i would probably just make sure that i spent time with everyone i loved so they could at least be at peace knowing they saw me and said bye

5. You can have one of the following two things: Love or Trust. Which do you choose? Why?
they go together, you have to have both in order for love to work, so i pick love and get both yay.

6. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?
yes i would because id never put anyone through that to begin with, but if i did, id want him to know so i didnt feel guilty forever

7. Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
id tell them too bad so sad lol im with the guy i want to be with and no one could get in the way.


8. Think of the last person you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not
my grandpa was the last person i know who died, and he died in his sleep, i think if he had one more hour he mightve woken up and for him or my grandma to have to do that awake would be too hard

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
id say i was, im extremely good at listening and problem solving

10. Does love=sex?
you dont have to have sex to have love, but it helps keep the peace lol

11. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
i try to tell people exactly what i think, but i think it was probably jim, and id rather not talk about it to the entire world.

12. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a boy/gi.rl friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
ive had to tell someone i dont love them back, its rough, but id say telling someone you love them and having to deal with rejection


14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
the people i love..and i think its self explanitory

15. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
i told my mom a couple days ago

16. Imagine. it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
id want jim with me

17. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
why not....?
to be honest, i probably wouldnt, i know its selfish, but what if they had something that could kill me in return, then a life is ended either way.

18. Are you old fashioned?
in some ways

19. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
i dont expect things in return usually, it would be nice, but ive learned that generally the world is a selfish place, so if i can do something nice i just do, and hope somewhere down the line when i need it, it will be there.

20. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
ignorance is bliss, i think id rather never loved at all because a broken heart is hard to heal and its not something id like to experience again.

I saw him today, about twelve years after his actions had marked my person for what I had no idea would be a life time. I saw him getting out of his car in front of the same house, a house that has continuously made me queezey to behold or discuss. I saw him and thought of my previous wishes to persecute him, to bludgeon him to a pulp and to tar and feather him. I saw him and wished I could use his walking stick to violate him in more ways than he had done to me. But as he hobbled around the vehicle and I realized I was creepily peeking at him from across a small hill I turned and said to myself "I'm the better for it." It is true, I am a better person for walking away to leave him as a feeble excuse for a human being, but I'm also better for the experience that although has forever tarnished my perception of men, older men, relationships, sexuality and love I am better for the knowledge that was forced upon me at his hands. And upon arriving home and finding my admission letter from the School of Education I can only be satisfied with who I have become and what I have and can accomplish despite him. It has been twelve years, and I may still be plagued by a gross understanding of how one shows affection to others, today I saw him and I can stop wondering what I would do if I had the chance. I walk away the better for it.

I've had a phone stalker for over a year and a half and T-mobile as well as Milwaukee Police are completely uncooperative in helping me stop this phone terrorist. I filed a police report in March, I've spent over 6 hours on the phone with customer service and everyone says it's my problem. For the last 6 years I've paid 50 dollars a month and this is the service they give to their customers.

If you don't want to get dicked around by your phone company don't use T-mobile.

Several things:

ONE - who wants to see Gregory and the Hawk with me on the 28th. It's in Riverwest and I have a feeling will be inexpensive but I MUST go.

TWO - Meg and I are talking about doing some clothes stuff. First task is my halloween costume. Second a PBR Baseball halter top. And finally a green toile skirt. I might need more motivation, so days that I'm not working with Meg (as well as those that I am) are open to other folks.

THREE - I'm going to be starting a few large projects that are basically my future pieces of furniture. My first two pieces are going to be dressers. I have the concept but I don't have the skills. I need YOU... yes you...to come up with creatures for my furniture that either I can copy onto the piece myself or you'd be willing to come paint onto it. I'm willing to feed and intoxicate anyone participating. I'll give more details to those that are interested.

Also my roommate has decided to do a vegan thanksgiving at our house for those folks who aren't doing the family thing. You can come. Call me for more info.


4142439441 (THIS NUMBER HAS BEEN CHANGED! IT IS NO LONGER VALID!)

Anyone reading this? Is this a dead frequency?

I've been thinking
not too much but I have
and I was wondering
not too long but a bit
how difficult it would be
to love me

So I was trying
not too often but a lot
and I was finding it
not too easy but hard
when I still disappoint me for
not believing in love

And so there was a place
and the when had happened
and the who had left
but the why I'd avoided
and the how just hurt

So it's almost a completely new semester and I haven't written anything in here all summer. Here's the scoop. I got a job with the Milwaukee County Park System, quit Vivo, limited my hours at Potterybarn and have been having alittle too much fun all summer. I've met cute Marquette boys, a nice but very naive 26 year old carpenter. I was in a rockin play called "No Pun In 10 Did" and another that didn't see it's self produced on stage quite yet called "The Record." I made a shit ton of friends doing so and have since been able to occupy almost every day that I desire to occupy myself with something awesomely fun.

But don't be fooled, just because everyday is a party and things aren't as shabby as they were back in January doesn't mean I don't have plenty of shit to think about still. I'm a senior in school this year and I won't be graduating. I still have another year at least. This sucks more balls than your mom, believe me! I'm also living with Mike and Diana but in a different house and with Diana's brother Jake. This isn't the apartment I had intended on being in oh say last summer. But after spending another 10 hours moving dirt at the building my blisters and Chris say the place should really get going soon. I fuckin hope so.

Also there are alot of people that I haven't seen this summer that I could use a major dose of...for instance Brooke, who came into town the day I was moving dirt and I didn't see her or Klub Korpse which is a huge disappointment on my part. And Deck Nicole who I am sure is still around and still lookin fly as ever but I don't ever really see her much. And with that I am pleased that school starts soon and now I live even closer to Fuel although I don't know what I'm gonna do without Kristin this semester.

Hope everyone is doing well, hit me up for the hang out (414-243-9441) and don't forget that even though I'm a stupid bitch I still love you.

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands



create your own visited states map

Hey everyone

I'm 21 now and loving it. Thought that now that I'm not just a bundle of pent up stuff I could say hello to everyone with a smile. I was also hoping some of you would like to hang out and help me not be homeless by coming over and working on my future apartment. In the morning preferably but any time is appreciated. Free lunch and Free beer. Let me know you're interested by leaving a comment or calling me at 414-243-9441. Thanks

Arielle

After sitting around doing homework all day yesterday my roommate came home and said "I think I have a solution for your orgasm problem" and I said "I need to find someone to have sex with before I can worry about solving 'my orgasm problem'" and apparently I need to find someone that is symmetrical. Whatever.
I've kinda become asexual lately. I've had plenty of people approach me and I rather avoid them at all costs. This is weird. I'm not calling people that I showed interest in, I'm not talking to people I don't have interest in and I'm not really looking. Boys aren't honest or fun or worth the effort. I'm just kinda wingin it and the days that I feel like shit (see previous post) are becoming fewer and fewer, but they're still Intense.
But yeah, I'm better.

Tonight we talked about masturbation. and boys masturbate to porn but I use my mind. Jake thought that was nice, but I said it wasn't. because it's hard to get over someone when you masturbate to the thought of that person. he said that means I love them. and I can't argue with that. I've dismissed people that are interested in me because they aren't like him and I've only been interested in guys I knew aren't interested in me or aren't available because I knew nothing would come of it. and I don't think I'll find someone that I get along with as well as I got along with him. even though I keep telling myself it was all a lie anyways and that she was probably around the entire time. but it just hurts.


i'm gonna fail that class because I don't care enough about nabokov and his stupid use of himself as a narrator and I haven't even looked at the other assignment and I don't want to because it's too hard to care about reading an assignment when you just want to cry.

it's too hard to pretend that i'm hard, to not cry at concerts to songs that make me cry, to give advice to people when i don't even know what I'm doing and I'm tired but i'm wide awake and (dreaming) drowning.

the sunglasses and cat hood can't hide the sad written on my face but i swear this is the one thing i'm trying really hard to do.

ps starting june i'll be living in my car until my new apartment is ready. which will severely affect my posting ability.

So this weekend started out on Friday, I worked at Vivo until 12:00am, I had two tables and got $145 in tips. Sweet! Then I went out for Ryan Lawrence's going away party, as of Saturday Ryan is spending his time in Iraq. At Ryan's the ceiling begins to fall in and the hard liquor is gone so they move the party the RC's. I barely miss seeing Justin and get nicely shit faced. Then I get into a fist fight because some dick head said my friend looked pregnant. ANYHOW. I slept at Amy's and woke up at noon on Saturday...but noon is when I was supposed to be at Trocadero with Stef. So I get Amy off her ass and we go to Trocadero, still alittle drunk from the night before and on less than 5 hours of sleep. Stef is too fuckin awesome for words, we spend the entire day there and I take Amy home at 4 but come back for lunch and was there until 6:30. PS. I'm in love with Chad the bartender. Then I go home take a wicked needed nap and wake up at 10pm...but 10pm is when Brooke said she'd be suspending. So I get myself together and head down to Heart Breakers...the strip club in stAllis. Not as many fine bitches as I'd have liked, the food was decent and the bands weren't horrible, but the suspension show was awesome. Brooke is one of the sexiest people I know and I really hope things workout for her, I'm tired of seeing her getting stomped on. Happiness should not be a mountain to climb. Now I'm home, just woke up and I'm gonna go to Fuel and study.